Zion, Bryce, Arches, Canyon (the grand one)

I have been to Utah, Arizona and Nevada, but these states were all seen from the window of the Rum Diary tour van. So, instead of riding in a  sweaty box with four hungover and beastly smelling men, living on slim jims and code red, stopping only at gas stations and the occasional Iron Skillet, I chose to drive a slighty douche-baggy mustang convertible, stop only at incredible national parks, and was blessed with the cheerful company of Ms. Anderson.

 

I love this expression of joy mixed with terror. "Driving is really scary" she said."Would I look cooler if I leaned my arm out the window?" 

 

Our first stop was the Bellagio Hotel to have breakfast with Uncle Bubba and 10K. Why I didn't take any pictures of the insane buffet they treated us to, I will never know. Suffice to say that it was a nice balance of family time and pure gluttony. 

Just a couple hours out of town, the scenery began to shift from the centipedes of stucco homes and Starbcucks to the granite cliffs of Zion.

What a magnificent valley, especially here as presented by Lauren. 

 

 As dusk approached, we set up camp and began preparing our first meal.

This is when I first learned that Lauren is a pyromaniac. I'm not saying that in a cute way, she loves to burn things. As she explained it "to see how they catch fire, and how they smell when they are burning." She actually accumulated a little pile of things throughout the night to toss into the fire.

Tent view. 

The next day we began our hike to Angel's Landing, but not before Lauren hams it up a bit for the camera.

Somewhere near the top, a lady coming down the other way says to us "You're not even half way." We thought that could mean two things:

1. We looked way too confident.
2. We looked like we should turn back.

Either way, we think she should mind her own business. I may have given her a smile similar to this one.

I had brushed up on my Zion edible plant identification skills before the trip, but I was still very surprised to find a glacies cremorem, Soft Serve Swirl Tree tucked away between some rocks.I shared the bounty with Ms. Anderson.

 

We made our way back to our campsite and began to prepare supper. Lauren insisted on cooking (burning) the food (and anything else in reach), as she would for the rest of the trip.

And, I guess the other campers who walked by assumed we were the type of jerks that would actually buy a car like this.

 

But on our drive to Bryce Canyon, we realized that looking like jerks was totally worth it. With the top down, we made our way along Hwy 89, and UT 12. These roads follow switchbacks up through the granite, weave in and out of tunnels, and provided an opportunity to be happy about being stopped for twenty minutes for road construction.  

Bryce Canyon was a complete surprise. Hadn't really heard of it, didn't know what to expect. But boy was I excited when I saw the valley, so excited in fact that I found it difficult to stand up straight.

The Fairyland Trail hike is highly recommended. It wraps around the whole valley. We maybe saw two other groups on this trail, a bit too early for the full swing of tourist season.

Such a bizarre landscape. I was expecting to see a Jawa pop out at any moment. 

Orchestral Maneuvers on the Trail. 

When we began to settle in for the evening, right around the time the temperature dropped to 18 degrees and we turned into Popsicles, we realized why the place was somewhat deserted. We had only planned to stay one night anyway. It was well worth it. 

The next morning we drove to the park I was most excited about, Arches National Monument. Not even having to listen to the moronic babble of Rush Limbaugh on the radio could dampen my mood. 

Lauren spent hours looking online to find the perfect campsite in Arches. "She's the one," she said as she saw an image of this big rock in the middle of one of the sites. Naturally, when we arrived, she was pretty excited to see her rock. Do you remember those strange poses that the photographer made you strike during senior portraits? Just curious...Yes, I put her up to it, but for some reason she really embraced the challenge.

The next morning, after I coaxed Lauren out of the tent with a nice cup of tea...

...we embarked on what would be our favorite hike of the trip, the Devil's Garden Loop trail. Hard to put into words, suffice to say that we felt the constant presence of Edward Abbey.

 We had to switch campsites on the second night, and both agreed that this is the best we would have it on the trip. When do you actually get to camp right up in the landscape like this? Rock Cleavage.

It was hard to leave this park, really hard. But there was the promise of meeting up with my favorite (unless any other cousins are reading this) cousin, Sarah, at the Grand Canyon.

 

I love hanging out with my cousin. We get to catch up, deconstruct family dynamics, and we get to talk in fond remembrance of our favorite person ever, Grandma Shirley!  My Grandma would love the fact that we were in the Grand Canyon together, and her spirit is close in places like this.

We got to hike down towards the bottom of the canyon, eat our delicious lunch, rescue a New Yorker, you know, standard stuff. Sarah and her friend, Janelle, also got to discuss the horoscope, and debate the qualities of different power crystals. Ahhh, just like being in California. 

 

Lauren says to make sure I include a picture from the bottom so no one can deny our strenuous hike. We are both alike in this way, quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) competitive.  

 All in all, the Grand Canyon was stunning. Yes, packed with tourists, but you can't be cynical in a place that provides such perspective. I ended up feeling a great sense of camaraderie with the fellow vacationers. We said our goodbyes and made our way back to Las Vegas to fly home. 

You know that feeling when you are headed home from adventure, and it starts setting in that all of the months of excitement and planning are drawing to a close? You realize that you will be back, sitting at your desk the next day, back in the routine, daydreaming about the days of old? Well, we fought that by listening to religious radio, the kind you just can't find in the Bay Area. Quality stuff. Bad news: We learned that we are probably going to hell. Good news: We are having too much fun to care.